


A New Life

by ariesphinx



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:00:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5651722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariesphinx/pseuds/ariesphinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Really bad at summaries... take a look inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own anything. 
> 
> Should I continue?

_Okay, first day, back to work. I can do this...  
_

_Or maybe I can't._

_Maybe if I take notes..._

She moves quickly around the room, finding a pocket-size moleskine notebook she had used in the hospital to keep track of everyone and everything.  

Flipping quickly through the notes she made when she met with her mother, she finds the notes from the time she was still at the hospital and her team first came to visit. 

**Hotchner: Boss, former prosecutor. From my world.**

**Morgan: Friend, close friend, maybe closest friend (?).**

**Reid: Nerdy, shy. Didn't say much.**

**Rossi: Father-like figure**

**Penelope: Eccentric, fun**

**Jennifer: Hard to read, I don't think we were that close**

She continued reading, now getting to the notes on her weekly dinners with Aaron. 

_I need to remember to call him Hotchner at work._

Since the accident, and during all four months of her recovery, she and Hotch worked together to get her ready to get back into the field. The doctors said that while her long-term memory is gone, likely forever, her skills and knowledge are intact. She can still be a profiler, which is good, as profiler is all Emily is right now. 

Grabbing her jacket, she pockets the moleskine and walks out of her apartment. The apartment she was told was her home, though it hasn't felt that way in 4 months. 

\--- 

"In 3.4 miles, take a right at Travis Lane. Your destination will be at your right."

"Thank you, Siri. Thank you for helping me get to the job I have been driving to alone for over 3 years. Now I don't even recognize the building..." Emily says, to no one in particular, as her looks at the FBI headquarters. This has been her home away from home since she joined the BAU three years ago, now it means nothing to her. 

The doctor had asked her to avoid anxiety-filled situations but that seemed impossible. Her life was now filled with anxiety. Everyone was a stranger, nothing was familiar, everything was unknown. 

It still surprised her that she is able to remember how to do somethings, like muscle-memory. She was able to shoot just fine. Her profiling skills, at least according to Hotch, are still excellent, and she can cook. Quite well, actually.  

However, she still had trouble calling her mother "mother" and she knows that it hurts her friends when she can't remember their names or important moments they have shared. 

She also has no actual memories older than 4 months. She has all the knowledge from her life experiences but no recollection of how she got this knowledge. She is unable to pair the lesson with the life experience. It was eerie and uncomfortable.

"ID" Says the security guard at the gate without looking up.  Finally making eye contact he says, "Prentiss! You are back!" 

"Um, thank you." Emily response, obviously not recognizing the guard. 

"Oh, I am so sorry. Jake, Jake Gillespie. We played in the same basketball league. I heard what happened. I am really sorry. You have been missed, Em, its good to have you back." 

"Thank you... Jake." Emily says, feeling oddly emotional. She didn't recognize him but he seemed to genuinely happy to see her that she couldn't help but feel moved by the sentiment.

Before she driving away, reluctant to end this interaction, she asks, "so, tell me, when do we play basketball?"

"Thursdays, 7pm. Court D. What,", Jake jokes, "think you are ready to join? We are pretty tough. You might want to wait a couple of weeks..."

"Of course!" Emily responds as she pulls away from the gate and jokes, "you are just scared that the lady with the head injury will kick your butt."

"Ha! You wish! I am the Stephen Curry of the FBI!" Jake yells to the back of Emily's car. Laughing as he watches her drive away. 

\---

Taking on last deep breath, Emily walks into the BAU office area. There isn't a lot of movement but she immediately recognizes Morgan and Reid waiting by what she assumes is her desk.

"Welcome back, Princess!" Morgan boasts with arms wide-open. 

"I still cannot believe I let you call me 'princess',"Emily responds, unable to stop herself from laughing. 

"Let me? You love it!" Morgan says, hugging Emily close. "Tell her Reid, doesn't she love it when I call her 'princess'..."

"Well, not sure about love ..." Reid says, looking at Emily with kindness in his eyes. 

"Pay no attention to him, princess, he is just jealous that I only call him 'Reid'." Morgan answers, moving back to his desk. 

"Please do not call me 'princess.' Reid is just fine." Reid responds as he moves closer to Emily. 

"How do you feel? First day back... Uhm, this is your desk... Please let me know if I can help you in any way..." Reid says, standing awkwardly to the side, unsure of what else to say. 

"Thank you, Reid." Emily says, rubbing her friend's arm trying to make him feel more comfortable. Turning to her desk and at the pile of paperwork in her inbox, she jokes, "I might have you fill out all these reports for me. They have been pilling up. You would think that while I was out injured one of you would have volunteered to complete these..." Emily jokingly responds. 

She wants to share more, she wants to tell them that she is overwhelmed and doubting her ability to do this job. She wants to stop joking and cry. 

But she doesn't and she doesn't know why she withholds. She trusts them, she knows she does. But still, she doesn't share. She doesn't understand her instincts. 

For the past four months many have offered to help, to drop everything they were doing and help. But she, automatically, dismissed them. Even when she knew she actually did need help. Its like muscle-memory, putting up walls between her and the people she is pretty sure she loves. She doesn't understand why but she knows she can't stop herself from doing so. 

"And take away all your fun?" Morgan asks, laughing.

"Gee, thanks!" Emily sarcastically answers. Shrugging her jacket off and settling at her desk. Looking around she sees a lot of things, recognizing none of it. 

There is a mug, no print, black. A water bottle, again, no print, just black. Pens, pencils, and two partially-filled yellow notepads. Another moleskine notebook with notes from past cases, Harmon/Kardon headphones, expensive-looking, soundproof. Everything makes sense and seems to fit with her persona, except the plush toy beneath her computer screen. A fish, orange and white fish. 

Emily holds it in her hands and hears Reid behind her, "its Nemo. Its a children's movie... its your favorite movie. Well, you would never confess that it is your favorite movie... But you watch it on your phone in the plane after tough cases. Its like your go to feel-good movie."

"Did you get it for me?" she asks as she  writes   **Nemo** in her moleskine. She needs to make sure to watch that movie. 

"It was a gift but not from me... You actually never told us who got you the toy. You have had it for about 7 months or so, I believe..." Reid says, and quickly, almost unconsciously, looks up at an office door across from their desks. 

"Whose office?" Emily asks, curious, following Reid's gaze.

"Its just JJ's office. I am surprised she hasn't come out to say hello yet. She's probably on the phone. She will be happy you are back. She has missed you a lot." Reid says, a sad tone in his voice that Emily can't quite place. Nothing they have been talking about was sad but Reid suddenly sounded wounded, oddly apologetic. 

Before Emily had a chance to ask why it happened, someone had run towards her and enveloped her in a big bear hug. 

_Penelope._

"OMG Emily! You are back. And you looks so good. How can you look this good after being hit by a truck!?! The scar on your forehead has completely disappeared." Penelope says as she inspects Emily's forehead and body. 

"Penelope! Its good to see you... like what you see, huh? Well, its always good to have a mother who can afford expensive aesthetic surgery. She seemed more concerned about my looks than she was about my memory." 

"Well, your mother is... not sure I should say it... I wouldn't want to hurt your new image of your mother..." Penelope says, reluctant to put ideas into Emily's head.

"She is a piece of work." Emily interrupts her friend. "I have only known her for 4 months and I can already tell that growing up with her was brutal. Maybe losing my long-term memory wasn't so bad..." Emily smiles deviously as she looks up at her friend.

"Ohhh Emily. You are bad!" Garcia tries to look stern but is quickly joining in the joke. "Oh, this reminds me, my chocolate Adonis tells me you have been reading up on all of our past cases. I have more records if you want."

"I would love them, thank you Penelope... oh sorry, Garcia. I keep messing up everyone's names..." Emily says, feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious. Its harder than it seems, to act normal, when you can't remember what normal is like.

"No need to apologize, sweetheart. You call me whatever you want. Garcia, Pen, Penelope, love of your life, sweet cherry pie! I am just so happy you are back here with us." Garcia says, again enveloping Emily in a big hug. While Emily feels uncomfortable in the hug and is slow to reciprocate, she has a lingering feeling that that has never stopped Garcia from hugging her before.

The four friends- Emily, Reid, Garcia, and Morgan- settled into a comfortable conversation. The three friends had visited Emily several times in the past four months, so there was already some comfort, some familiarity. 

Emily had spent many and long nights talking to Morgan, Reid was making her watch (well, technically rewatch) all Dr. Who episodes on Netflix, and Garcia would often stop by on weekends to chat and gossip about people from work. 

Even though Emily had explained many times that she no longer had any idea who Garcia was referring to, they still gossiped and after a couple of weeks of this, Emily just started feigning shock and awe when context led her to believe the gossip as particularly juicy. 

For the rest of Emily's first day back, her friends filled her in on what had happened in the 4 months she had been on medical leave. She met Rossi for lunch and spent most of the afternoon going through protocol with Hotch. She only saw Jennifer once, at the kitchen, and they made pleasant but meaningless conversation. She was starting to feel comfortable again at the BAU. 

She had spent four months away. Three weeks in the hospital, and nine additional weeks of recovery and intensive physical therapy. The accident got her a broken leg, a broken arm and two broken ribs. But the worst damage was to her brain. When she fell after the hit, she hit her head on the concrete. Major damage to the cortex, she was unconscious and in a coma for the first week she was in the hospital and barely conscious for the second week. 

 It sounds bad but she lucked out, actually. Her sensory and short-term memory were intact but long-term memory is gone. She can create new long-term memories but,  for reasons the doctor's don't quite understand, her already formed memories are gone. 

Waking up in the hospital was particularly bad. She had no idea where she was, who she was and what had happened. Jennifer had been sitting next to her at the hospital bed and calmed her down from her panic attack. 

_Sweetheart, its okay. You are safe now._  Was the first thing she heard when she woke up after 2 weeks of blurry visions and headaches. Jennifer had been sweet and thoughtful at that moment. Holding her hand and stroking her hair. But things went downhill fast. The less Emily remembered, the more withdrawn Jennifer became and by the end of the day, Hotchner had replaced her by Emily's bed. 

From that point on, Hotch had become her source of information, both about work and about her family. It helped that they were from the same world, a world of  politics, money and elitism. He knew her mother, and knew a lot about Emily's relationship (or lack thereof) with her Elizabeth Prentiss. He knew a number of Emily's college friends and helped her acclimate back to her life. 

It was almost 7pm when Emily started to get ready to leave. Morgan and Garcia had left almost an hour before and though they insisted she grab dinner with them, Emily really wanted to get some work done. She missed work, it was the first day in a long time she felt fulfilled. Reid and Rossi left shortly after Morgan and Garcia. Now, it was just her, Hotchner in his office,  and Jennifer in her office. 

Satisfied with her last report of the day, Emily got up to wash her coffee mug and get ready to leave. Taking one last look around, she waves goodbye to Hotch and confidently walking out of the BAU and the FBI. 

_This is the first day of my new life._  


	2. Karmic Justice

"You have been hiding in your office for four days..." Garcia states, walking into JJ's office and closing the door behind her. 

"It's just paperwork," JJ answers, clearly avoiding eye contact with her friend. "Its easier to get things done in here."

She had been hiding, but not for four days. She had been hiding for four months and four days. Seeing that her friend wasn't about to let it go, JJ pleads, "Just leave it be, Garcia. It'll be fine soon enough."

"Will it? Morgan wants to take her out tonight, go partying and picking up women like they used to do. He is very excited about it..."

Too quickly for it to be truthful, JJ responds,"she can do whatever she wants, Garcia. I have no claim to her."

"JJ, you can't let go. You need to talk to her and"

"And what Garcia, tell her that she doesn't remember but she is actually in love with me?!?!?" JJ yelled, frustrated, and cried, resigned. That is all she had been doing for months. Crying. 

The friends were quiet for a long time.

Garcia moved to sit by her friend, unable to figure out anything to say that would make this situation better. Finally, she decided to go with honesty. "I can't imagine what you are going through." 

"I used to argue with Emily all the time that she compartmentalized her feelings too much. Now I wish I had spent that time learning how to do it myself..." JJ leaned into her friend's touch while trying to regain some composure. 

She and Emily had been together, officially, for about three months. But they had prior, complicated history. From the day Emily joined the BAU, they flirted. It was harmless at first, at least it was for JJ, but it became less and less so as time went on. Touches, lingering looks, and ultimately jealousy escalated the harmless flirting into an actual relationship. 

Well, if JJ was willing to be honest with herself, it was never harmless for Emily. Emily had always made it quite clear that she was willing to take their relationship further.

_There is so much potential here, Jennifer, if only you gave it a chance_. Emily had confessed after a particularly brutal case.  _I don't know what you are so afraid of._  It was the first and only time they ever talked frankly about their dynamic. This was less than a year after Emily joined the BAU. 

Lesbian. That is what JJ was so afraid of. Of being, and being perceived as a lesbian. She was the golden girl. Straight-A student, the pride of her tiny town outside Pittsburgh. She was the prodigal daughter. And the prodigal daughter could not be gay. The prodigal daughter needed to find herself a good man, have 2.5 children and move to a white picket fence house in the suburbs. 

So Jennifer went out on dates with men she didn't care for and Emily slept with women she didn't care for. And they flirted, a lot. So for almost three years, they flirted, hurted each other and flirted harder. 

And then Will and Jessica happened.

Will was everything that JJ's parents every wanted for her. Successful defense attorney, good looking, from a good family. He was charming, kind, and head-over-heals in love with JJ. In a world where all her thoughts weren't consumed by Emily Prentiss, JJ could see herself marrying Will and being happy. Things weren't perfect but she was determined to make it work. But then Jessica showed up. 

And Jessica was all wrong for Emily.

Jessica wanted Emily for her money, her parents, and her connections. She wanted Emily as her trophy wife, another example of everything that the great Jessica Simmons had conquered. She was a political bombshell, running the most prestigious lobbying firm in the country. She owned governors, representatives, and even some senators. And she wanted to own Emily Prentiss. 

At first, JJ wasn't concerned. Emily never seemed to care for more than one-night-stands and hated politics. But Jessica was insistent. Relentless. She got her one-night-stand but she demanded more. And, unexpectedly, the more she demanded, the more Emily gave in. The one-night-stand became dates, dates became weekends, weekends became weeks, weeks became months. And for the first time, JJ had to come to terms with what her life would be like without Emily Prentiss.

She didn't like it.

So she acted. Flirting became outright seducing and by the end of the month, Jessica was history and she and Emily were threading through even more precarious waters. After a night out with friends, the two ended up sharing a cab- even though they lived nowhere close to each other- and later that night, a bed. 

If JJ ever thought she could a live a life as a straight woman, that first night with Emily killed any hope that that was true. Having Emily inside of her made her feel complete, for the first time in her life she was whole. Being inside Emily... well, she finally got religion. 

It was the best, most intense, happiest three months of her life.  But she still lived in fear. Her parents, with whom up to this point she had shared everything, didn't know. And as far as JJ was concerned, could never know.

Emily was patient. Coming out to Elizabeth Prentiss hadn't been a walk in the park, so Emily understood some of JJ's reluctance to come out to her parents. But the fact that JJ hid their relationship from everyone, even those they knew would have no problem with it, hurt. Emily resented having to lie to her own family, and in particular, resented having to lie to their team. 

"It feels like karmic justice, you know. I wouldn't recognize her as my girlfriend to our loved ones and now she literally can't recognize me." JJ whispered. 


	3. Mathias

"So far, we have 4 dead women. All strangled. Not much in common except that they are all between the ages of 22-30."

JJ explained, flipping through the reports in front of her. 

"Any other other information that could be helpful," Morgan asked, looking over Emily's shoulder at her IPad screen.

"The bodies were all thrown into a tributary of the Cuyahoga River, all around the same area," JJ continued, in part in response to Morgan, in part not.

"So, not someone who is experienced in disposing bodies," Emily concludes. 

_It's not the most interesting comment but at least I am participating. Baby steps on my first case back in the field._

"And there seems to be no ritualist marks, no post-mortem modifications, these are murders. He is disposing of these women." Emily continued.

_Okay, that was much better._

"Emily is right," Reed speaks up, "the goal here seems to be to get rid of these women. Which means that there is probably a reason, a connection we are missing.”

“Once we land," Hotchner stepped in, "Morgan and Reed, go to the morgue and find out any additional details. Rossi and I will go to the disposal site. JJ, start prepping a statement. There are all sorts of absurd stories coming out of the local press, we need to put a stop to those. Prentiss, stay at the local PD and work with Garcia in trying to connect the victims."

* * *

 

It's another hour before they get to the local PD, and then another four before they are all back together reporting on what they found. 

They were strangled with climbing rope. These can easily be bought in any outdoors store. They were then wrapped in thick moving plastic and disposed in the river. He used the path from the road to the tributary, taking a Parks' Authority Employees only road right to the edge of the river. The river's rough waters did the rest of the work for him.

Local police officers are now surveilling that area. 

"No much on the connection side either," Emily reports when its her turn to speak. "They don't live in the same neighborhoods, know the same people, or go to the same places. Garcia and I went through credit card statements and cell phone patterns and there doesn't seem to be anything in common. No major expenses, except that three of the women went to therapists.”

"Okay, JJ and Morgan. Go to the therapists office and see what they are willing to share without a court order. We don't have enough to get one yet but they might be helpful. We have two families coming to the station this late afternoon to be interviewed, and two who have preferred to do it at home. Rossi and Reed, you take the home calls, Prentiss and I will do the ones here." 

"You are keeping me inside." Emily says to Hotchner after the two other pairs left for their assignments. "I am cleared for field duty. You have no reason to keep me off the field." Emily says, clearly annoyed.

After a long pause, a pause that clearly communicated that Hotchner was not going to have this conversation, he continued, "we need to get ready for the interviews."

And walked out of the conference room. 

* * *

It was half past 8pm when all agents reported back to the local PD. 

"Princess, thank you for ordering food. I am starved." Morgan said, sitting across from Emily at the conference table. Grabbing a slice of pizza, he continues, "anything interesting here?"

"Not much... Still no clear connection or explanation as to why they were targeted... oh, wait, Hotchner wanted to make sure we shared this with you guys… Annalise's parents mentioned that she recently changed therapists. Did you guys get anything interesting from them?"

"Yeah, Dr. Pearson mentioned it. She said that she had only been her therapist for about seven months. JJ asked her how they met each other and Dr. Pearson said that Annalise was a reference from the local chapter of the APA."

"That's weird," Emily interrupted, "right?"

"Yeah, it is," Jennifer said walking into the room and sitting at the top of the table. Warming her hand on the cup of coffee, she continued, “and it gets weirder. I just hung up with the local American Psychological Association and they said that they couldn't comment on Annalise Santana. Told me to call tomorrow to speak to their general counsel."

"The general counsel being called about a reference inquiry, this might be the  break we need," Morgan said, reaching for another slice of pizza. 

"Where's Hotchner?" JJ asks while grabbing her own slice of pizza. 

"Talking to Rossi and Reed, they still have to interview one set of parents."

"I'll go tell him about the APA." JJ said, getting up from the table.

"No, stay, I'll go." Morgan interrupted walking out of the conference room. "You just got here and I’ll eat the entire pizza if I just sit here.”

"How's being back?" JJ asks, carefully once Morgan was out of earshot.

"It's fine." Emily answers, way too cheerfully for it to be true.

"Ok... Good. That's good..." JJ says, returning her attention to her coffee and her pizza and knowing that this is the best she is going to get from Emily. 

* * *

“The general counsel is telling us that the APA can't answer any of our questions without a court order." JJ reports as she walks back into the local PD. It's only 830am but Hotchner wanted her to go to the APA office first thing in the morning. 

"He did confirm, though, that the APA did indeed refer Annalise to Dr. Pearson. But he refused to speak about any of the other victims…He didn't look happy to have to say ‘no’ to me. He explained that the APA couldn't be seen as giving away private information, it would discourage people from seeking mental health services. But he didn't look happy about it. He was really apologetic."

"Let's get the order and try to find out whether the other women had any connection with the APA," Hotchner said, in response to JJ but directing the order towards Garcia with whom he was in a conference call.

"Will do," Garcia answers disconnecting the call. 

"Where is everyone?" JJ asks as she joins her boss at the conference table.

“We are following up with the other two therapists to see if they can help now that we have more information, Reed and Morgan are on that. Rossi is meeting with the family of the fourth girl to see if she was seeing a therapist as well.” Hotchner answered.

"And Emily…” JJ asks.

"Across the street. She surmised that the reason the APA needed the general counsel might be because of legal complaints filled by the women. The courthouse records are stored across the street at the district court."

"You are keeping her close." JJ says, trying to broach the topic with her boss.

"I am." Hotchner responds, clearly trying to avoid the conversation. 

"You can't do that forever. It is clear that she is mad that you are micro-managing her." JJ presses.

"I know," Hotchner responds but before he elaborates, Morgan and Reed storm in.

"Dr. Amaro Huff." Morgan states as he walks in. "He was Annalise's therapist before Dr. Pearson."

"Garcia," Hotch says, quickly calling back the tech genius, "what do we know about Dr. Amaro Huff?" 

After a quick pause, Garcia starts, "48 years old. Graduate of Case Western and Ohio State. Worked with survivors of sexual assault. His licensed was suspended 7 months ago."  

"What for?" JJ asks, knowing that this is their guy.

"It's sealed." Garcia answered. "Give me a second, let me see if it's available elsewhere..."

"JJ, call Emily now. Tell her to look for complaints against Huff." Hitch quickly orders.

"Morgan and Reed. Get ready to leave. If this is our guy, we need to move fast.”

"Hotch," JJ says trying to get her boss' attention, putting Emily on the speakerphone she continues, “Emily found something."

"Hotch," Emily says from the court archives, "two complaints against Huff. Two different women, sexual assault. Jesus... he video'ed the first and blackmailed them into further sexual contact for months."

"Emily copy these complaints and bring these in. I think we have our guy. The names of the complainants..." Hotch said.

"Sienna Thomas and Emily Proctor. I am heading back now." Emily says, hanging up. 

"Did you get that Garcia," Hotch asks, "what do we know about them?"

"Dead, both of them. Oh my God, Hotch, they were found at another tributary of the river, one two months ago, the other almost 3 months ago. Both strangled."

"JJ, tell this to the local officers. We likely have two more connected cases. Find what you can on these. Garcia, send Huff's last known address to Morgan and Reed. You guys are ready?” Hotch asks the two agents, "be careful, we don't know how dangerous this guy truly is."

* * *

It turns out, pretty dangerous but incredibly cowardly. While he was quite good at blackmailing, raping, and killing women, he panicked when stronger, taller men asked to talk to him.

After unsuccessfully trying to stab Reed, of course he went for the smaller man, he was arrested. 

It turned out there was a total of 8 victims. They were all women who were scheduled to testify against him at the APA hearing and eventually, at a civil case. 

The APA wanted to revoke his license and the administrative proceedings were schedule to start in 2 weeks. He had been systematically killing all his adverse witnesses.

"What are you still doing?" JJ asks as she takes a seat at the top of the table next to Emily who is still working on the report for the case.

"Just adding the women's stories. I just finished reading the court records. Their stories shouldn't be forgotten." Emily says, not looking up from the report.

As it has happened a lot in the past 2 weeks, JJ doesn't know what to say. This is the woman she loves. The always, and surprisingly, thoughtful Emily. The woman she thought she had lost. The woman she still feels like she lost.

"That's very thoughtful of you. And not uncommon..." JJ says, cautiously. "You often added the victims’ and survivors’ stories to your reports." 

The two women share a moment. JJ wanting to figure out how to continue this conversation and Emily wanting to ask more about herself in the past. Instead, Emily says, "besides, the best I can do is write a great report seeing that Hotchner doesn't trust me to be in the field." She is going for sarcasm but it comes off as angry. JJ had noticed that Emily was relying more and more on sarcasm since the injury, since the amnesia.

Deciding against staying quiet this time, JJ says, "he was there. He saw it happening."

That made Emily pause. She wasn't aware of that detail.   


"You are ready for the field. And Hotchner knows that. But he might not be ready to have you in the field." JJ continues.  


"He can't keep me inside because he is scared..."  


“I thought you had died!" JJ interrupts, loudly.

Cursing herself for letting her emotions get the best of her, she continued, "we... we thought you had died. You almost died. Hotchner was there. He saw it happen. You might be ready to be in the field but we are still recovering from almost losing you.”

JJ concludes, getting up and walking out of theconference room to finish wrapping up the case.

* * *

“I owe you an apology.” Hotchner says, sitting across from Emily.

They had been in the air for over an hour.

Morgan was asleep next to Emily and she was reading _Galapagos_. Well, technically, re-reading it. She was slowly making her way through her collection of Vonnegut’s books.

Looking up from the book, Emily says, “you should have just told me."

Taking a deep breath, Hotchner starts.

“We heard Mathias was driving towards the Southern Border so the two of us took off in one of the SUVs. We ran into him in his Dodge truck about 60 miles from the border. We decided that the best way to approach it was to have you jump from our car into the truck bed. It was dangerous but you are a talented agent and if we lost him then he would have gotten to the border and God only knows when we would have seen him again."

Emily nodded in understanding.

She had read and re-read the file for this case about a million times. Adam Mathias was a drug lord in New Mexico. He was largely responsible for the drug trade in all the Eastern coast of the United States. He was also a ruthless human trafficker.

The BAU was called into the Mathias case after a train car was found with 39 dead girls. Ages 12-15. The girls were being transported to the border towns to be sold to brothels in the area.

When local police had gotten the tip that a train car full of human trafficked girls were going to be crossing the state that week, the traffickers simply removed the car from the train and continued their journey. The girls, who were chained to the car and to each other, died of hunger, cold and thirst in the following 10 days, unable to leave the car.

They were finally found 3 weeks after they had all died. As this was not the first train car of girls Mathias had abandoned in the desert, the BAU was called in to help with the profile and the efforts to apprehend Mathias.

They got close. Agent Emily Prentiss was within five feet of Mathias. That was the closest American law enforcement had ever gotten to him.

“I think Mathias figured out what we were doing,” Hotchner continued, “because as soon as you stepped into the truck, he swerved violently, sending you off the bed and onto the ground. You probably broke your arm and got a bad concussion when you fell but then he chased you and…” Hotchner stopped and holding back his tears. “the hit, I didn’t think you could survive it.”

Reaching for her friend's hand, Emily and Aaron allow themselves to cry. One friend crying for what he can’t forget, the other crying for what she can’t remember.

 


	4. Ex-Girlfriend

“Hotch wants to know if you are done with the Jefferson file.” JJ says, walking into the kitchenette area.

Emily is leaning against the marble counter, mindlessly staring at the coffee pot as it is slowly, drip-by-drip, being refilled.

“Not yet, I needed to take a break. Cases with children… they are horrible… I am not looking forward to getting one of those.” Emily responds, too tired and weary to catch her mistake.

Emily had been working so hard at pretending that the accident didn’t actually happen. She had gotten so good at powering through at full speed that JJ was actually surprised at how much she appreciated the slip. At how much she appreciated that, deep inside, Emily was aware that she is almost a new person, experiencing new things. She was actually quite happy for the small recognition that things were in fact different.

“I’ll let Hotch know that you are still working through it. No hurry…” Jennifer says, leaning against the counter across from Emily.

It had been three weeks since Emily had returned to work. They had had two cases but mostly had stayed in DC. It seems that the brass was giving the team some time to acclimate to their new circumstances.

After actively ignoring Emily for an entire week, JJ realized that she needed a new plan. She couldn’t avoid the brunette forever, not just because they worked together, but because she didn’t want to. While the situation was different, this was still very much the Emily she loved. The kindness, sense of humor, and strength were still very much there. She continued to be attracted to Emily’s personality. She continued to seek out the brunette’s company.

She tried to keep it all very professional. They didn’t spend anytime outside of work together, JJ wasn’t sure she could handle that just yet, but the blonde sought her colleague constantly at work. Just right now, she was here, alone with Emily, inquiring about a file that Hotchner probably didn’t even know exists.

“Thanks, it might take me the rest of the day to get through it.” Emily answered, as she poured herself a new cup of coffee. “Would you like some?” Emily asked JJ, reaching for her cup with the newly brewed carafe. The question was purely a formality as she still hadn’t seen JJ say no to a cup of coffee.

“Thank you.” JJ answered, taking a careful sip. “How much longer are you working?” JJ asked, too afraid to allow for a lull in the conversation, afraid Emily would walk back to her desk now that she had more coffee.

“For a while,” Emily answered, “I have a basketball game tonight so I will probably work up to it.”

“With the league?” JJ asked, “I didn’t know you had already re-joined…”

“Yeah, its a good way to meet people… or re-meet them.” Emily continued, “what about you?”

“Who knows? Sometimes I feel like I will be in my office forever. I have started to keep clothes in there just in case I don’t get home.” JJ answered candidly, though omitted that she also didn’t want to go back to her place. She had been mostly living at Emily’s apartment before the accident and her apartment just didn’t feel like home anymore.

“That’s good to know…” Emily says while subtly giving her friend a once over, “…in case I ever need a change of clothes.” Catching herself, embarrassed, she continues hoping to change the topic, “that is a nice sweater. Where did you get it?”

More than a little encouraged by Emily’s clear appreciation, JJ answers “I didn’t, it belonged to a friend.”

_It belonged to you._

And then it hit her. She had an opportunity here. She could fix it. She could be strong and confident. She could be the Jennifer that her Emily deserved. So she took a deep breath and made a decision she should have made years ago.

She came out.

“Girlfriend, actually… it belonged to an ex-girlfriend.” JJ clarified, feeling as light as she had ever felt.

Feeling her heart beating fast and needing a moment to collect herself, JJ raises her cup as both a “thank you” and “see ya” to Emily and makes her way out of the kitchenette.

“Damn,” Emily exclaims, making JJ turn around and pay attention, “she lost you _**and**_ that nice sweater?” She jokes with an unmistakably flirty smile.

Laughing genuinely for the first time in 4 months and 3 weeks, JJ walks out of the kitchenette with an extra spring in her step.

 


End file.
